1. Ex Talk
Nobody wants to be on a first date listening to a person talk about their last date. It’s fine to discuss the basics of previous relationships and a general history of your dating past. Talking about how “Lily never did this” and how “Lily always did that” isn’t a story your new date wants to hear. Leave your ex talk for a night with the ladies and a big glass of wine.
2. Me, Myself, and I
It’s essential to talk about yourself on a first date, letting your date know who you are and what you’re all about. Don’t forget to let your date talk about himself or herself too. First dates are like ping pong matches, where the conversation goes back and forth. Make sure it’s not like soccer, where you just run with the ball.
3. Family Drama
Save that drama for your mama! Talking about your family history is a good thing on the first date. However, your date doesn’t need to hear that your Uncle Jim isn’t speaking to your mom because of that big blowout at Christmas. Save these not-so-precious family moments for later dates.
4. Sexual Preferences
You always want to be safe when it is going about sex. Make sure this is a comfortable topic to bring up. If you don’t want to scare off your date, talking about sexual preferences should most likely be saved for a later time. Your date is probably realize that you have sex and you eventually want to have sex with him or her. He or she doesn’t want to know that doggy style is your favorite just yet, though. Seal those lips on this subject.
“No money, no problems.” Also, no money talk, no problems. Some people have it and some people don’t. But one thing is for sure, talking about money only makes people uncomfortable. Anything money related should not be coming out of your mouth, only your wallet.
6. Religious Beliefs
Although the subject of religion can unite a couple with common backgrounds and values, unless you are met at a place of worship or on an online dating site that focuses on religion, your opinions about your religious beliefs should not be brought up on a first date.
“So, what do you think of Obama as a President?” It couldn’t get much worse. It’s just not a great idea to bring up politics on a first date.
8. Too Much, Too Soon
It’s all right to discuss what you want in terms of the future. Saying you would like to get married someday or you are hoping to have children in several years is completely fine. Laying it out for the other person isn’t the problem. The problem is when you come on too strong. This is where you start talking about these things in extreme detail.
When you start telling your date all the five names you have picked out for your children, you have spoken too soon. Your date isn’t interested in knowing your wedding color choices or your bridesmaid’s dresses. Save this stuff for your Pinterest boards, not your first date.
9. Negative Nancy
Nobody likes a negative Nancy — not even Nancy herself. Make sure you aren’t complaining too much and making pessimistic remarks. Your date is going to wonder what you’re like at your worst, if this is your best. People aren’t interested in having wine with some whining.
10. The “We” Person
Have you ever come across a “we” guy or girl on a first date? It makes you want to run for the hills. The “we” person is the man or woman who uses “we” constantly. “We should go there next.” “We should have 3 children.” “We should do this, we should do that….” This can be a little freaky because you two just met. Hold your horses and hold on to those “we” statements.
So what does this leave you to discuss on a first date?
- The present, of course!
- What do you enjoy?
- How do you spend your time?
- What is the content of your personality that goes beyond your past experiences and hopes for a future?
First dates are a blank canvas upon which you get to shine. Keep things fun and light. Focus not so much on weeding out during this first interaction, but instead on having fun and how that can be accomplished. Put the focus on each other and allow the individual colors that shade who we are to shine.
When going on a date, remember first impressions do matter. So does the tone of your voice. Life may have it’s ups and downs, but please, leave the baggage at home. Remember to keep the conversation light.